I did some digging and found this it seemed promising so I followed it.
still doing the same thing but the memory usage is a lot less. still some spikes to 98% but not like it was and its not touching the swap file.
Thinking back this problem started when i tried to set up the participation node.
So just as an Idea what should my part key string look like following the instructions.
$./goal account addpartkey -a address-of-participating-account --roundFirstValid= partkey-first-round --roundLastValid= partkey-last-round --keyDilution= key-dilution-value
Using numbers for round first valid and round last valid and key dilution? Im think me not adding enough or key dilution or private spending key? is the private spending key my send algo from my algo wallet?