Hi @badmanj,
Yes, as you have already figured, being added as a node running is discretionary.
You can look on https://algorand.foundation/network to get some idea of the node requirements.
I would guess that a relay would need to have the above as a minimum, plus some extra bandwidth capacity.
Also, note that the foundation “Early Node Runners Program” is now closed : https://algorand.foundation/faq ; I don’t know if there is any other programs in place.